Advice and Help for Teens

My Friend Stopped Talking to Me

This sucks, and I’m sorry. That’s the first thing I have to say whenever one of my teen life coaching kids tells me, “My friend stopped talking to me.” This is legit one of the worst things that can happen in high school.

All you really need is just one friend. More is better, but with that trusted one, you know you’ve got somebody to stand in the hall with before school starts. To message when cute boy or girl smiles at you. To make weekend plans with.

If they suddenly ghost you, it can feel like you’re walking through school naked…but you still have to see them, laughing with their new friend group. Your confusion and pain are bona fide. I’m here to validate you.

I’m also here to help you fix shit. So if you texted me to, “OMG help my friend stopped talking to me,” here’s what I’d say back.

A: Shit. I’m so sorry.

B: This sucks. And it won’t forever.

C: Hard question: on a scale of 1-10: how much do you truly like that friend?

D: What are the things you like about them?

E: Are you at all like, “I kind of have been growing away from them….”?

F: If you didn’t have to worry about being alone in the hall before school, which of these options would sound better:

F1: Bring the friendship back to where it was before ~or~

F2: Find a new friend who I like even better

G: If you’d like to bring the friendship back, what would happen if you said to them, like, “I think I might have upset you. I’d really like to hear what you’re thinking. Can we talk?” Is it worth taking that risk?

H: If a new, better friend sounds good, throw your shoulders back like, “My friend stopped talking to me and I DGAF.” That confidence will be obvious to the friend and everyone else, and that means you win.

I: Next step: new friend! Armed with your list of things you actually liked about your former friend, go read my post about how to find new friends.

Hey, and listen. The friend struggle is so real, I’m going to be doing group coaching to help kids work through it. (I don’t have enough hours in the day to do 1:1 coaching with everyone who deals with this stuff!) If you maybe want to join a coaching group, hit me up.

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