Advice and Help for Teens

How to Make Boys Notice You

Okay, sigh. The question of how to make boys notice you can be answered two ways. There’s like the devil-on-your-shoulder answer (the icky one) and the angel-on-your-shoulder answer (the one I like way better). Because I don’t truck in bullshit, I’m gonna give you both.

How to make boys notice you the icky way:

1: If you’re a girl, play the old, gross, gendered role. Translated: present yourself like you’re sexy and submissive. An awesome kid I coach told me about how at her high school’s football game, all the girls from the other school had on super cleavage shirts and glitter…in their cleavage. They laughed at everything the boys said and didn’t share opinions of their own. It was like the only thing they had to offer was their sexuality and their admiration of the boys. If you can stomach this, it’s one way how to make boys notice you. But um…I dunno, but like…do you really want attention from boys who only want you for sex and to act like their jokes are funny?

2: If you’re a boy, follow the steps in #1, minus the cleavage part. Translated: pretend you’re 100% fascinated by the boy you’re interested in, with zero focus on you or your thoughts or interests. And find a creative way to imitate the cleavage-glitter trick, to draw attention to your sexuality.

How to make boys notice you the way better way:

1: Be legit interested in them. Notice what seems different about them, and comment on it. Are they wearing a t-shirt with an obscure band on it? Do they have drumsticks poking out of their backpack? Are they drinking an energy drink you’ve never heard of? Cool. Ask them about it. Your curiosity will make them feel wonderful. And when someone makes you feel wonderful, you want to be around them.

2: Be confident in who you are, not what you have to offer. That same coaching kid, when she was at that football game, was with a boy. A boy she liked. A boy who liked her back, because she didn’t need to wear super cleavage shirts to feel worthy of attention. They had actual stuff in common—music, skateboarding, gaming—so he wanted to hang out with her and have fun, not use her and dump her. He knew about these things because she didn’t hide them. Sorry for moralizing, but…I dunno, but…to me, this kind of connection seems way more satisfying.

Closing thought: as a former slut–seriously, I wrote a whole book about it–I’m not here to slut-shame. I am here to say that getting boys to notice you by putting your sexuality front and center can work…and it can also leave you feeling ditched and deeply lonely, real quick. If what you want is true connection, you might try a different approach. You dig?

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